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“Don’t get me started again. My mascara can only take one meltdown a day.”
Their laughter filled the car. That was why she called him.
“And where does Alonso fit into this scenario?”
She knew she couldn’t slide that one pass him. Her boyfriend, correction, ex-boyfriend wanted to play house and told her he had no plans of getting married anytime soon. Her vision was cloudy again.
Sandra wiped away the tears, taking deep breathes. It was over.
“I can’t stay in a relationship not headed to marriage,” she stated. Not to mention her “Get Married” deadline was approaching. And there went her “Start a Family” goal too.
“So are the tears for him?”
Sandra shook her head, “No.” Alone in her SUV. Sitting in traffic. She knew she looked a mess. She thought about the source of her pain. Was it the shock of finally ending it with Alonso? She knew they were nearing the end even if they both didn’t want to admit it. Maybe it was the thought of starting over? Or knowing the tears are…
“Sandi answer me…”
She took a deep inhale through the nose she released a very audible breath from her mouth. She could do this.
“No, Bruce. I know it won’t work between us, but I hoped it would. I wanted it to. I just fault myself for letting it linger longer than it should have. The tears are because, hold on,” she took the first exit she saw.
Sandra pulled into the Walmart-size gas station and located a parking space under a light. Again she placed the car in park. She looked around, and it was well lit, and she had another hour before the sun completely set.
“The tears Bruce are my way of letting go of it all. My dream,” she whispered, “I can’t find a husband. This means I can’t have kids. This means I won’t have a family. And I will live my life alone. And I just—“
“Really Sandi? You break up with the man for five minutes, and now you’re an old maid.”
“It’s not funny.”
She could see the smile on his face in Atlanta from Houston. The octave of his voice went higher when he smiled. And she smiled with him, lessening the hurt. A little.
“And to see Cindy get it all,” she continued, “I’m happy for her really.” She realized she must sound pathetic. It was her sister. Her baby sister at that. She was happy for her. However, she couldn’t help but compare their lives.
Cindy planned to marry her high school sweetheart who now played for the Houston Texans. While Sandra owned Coffee Confessions, a little slice of her heaven on earth.
The cafe served coffee and light food accompanied by a bookshop and intimate concerts. The business turned a profit every year, with great employees, customers, and a boyfriend until a few hours ago.
When would her someday come…
They disconnected with the rumble of his laughter lingering as she reentered the highway. Sandra didn’t share Bruce’s optimism, at least not yet, but she thanked God for him. He was the best friend a girl could have.
Before backing out of the parking space, she bowed her head for a quick prayer.
Help me use this time to let go of what is not for me. Help me to see and embrace Your plan for me.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.